Post by salparadise on Jul 24, 2006 22:29:36 GMT -5
Everyone I have ever known has gone away.
They remain in between my ears like wicked little spirits...in my dreams, when I am alone (which is a lot, lately).
They make stepping into the next era of my life so difficult, because I know that everything and everyone that I love so much today will inevitably become just another ghost...someone or something that will be just another thing that I wish with all of my heart that I still had with me, but will only be taunted by in the quickly forgotten, faded black and white sadness of my memories.
Not everything behind me that is gone now was my fault. I didn't want the Andy's and the Dave's and the Eric's and the Chris' and the Damon's and Wife and the Daughter and the possibilities to go away...most of the time they just did.
Sometimes it was my fault. Sometimes I treated the right person the wrong way...I said the wrong thing or drank the wrong drink or stole the wrong money at the wrong time.
But it really doesn't matter. They're all gone. Dust. I will never sit in that office and laugh ever again. I will never swing from that tire or kiss those lips or hold that child...ever again the way I once did.
I'm just so sad. Who are those people that keep everyone in their lives forever? How do they do it? Do they exist? Or are they simply what we see in the movies...fictional beings that have it all right all the time?
So many of you I just miss so much. Cult or no cult. I Wish You Were Here.
Sorry. Bad days for Sal.
-Sal
They remain in between my ears like wicked little spirits...in my dreams, when I am alone (which is a lot, lately).
They make stepping into the next era of my life so difficult, because I know that everything and everyone that I love so much today will inevitably become just another ghost...someone or something that will be just another thing that I wish with all of my heart that I still had with me, but will only be taunted by in the quickly forgotten, faded black and white sadness of my memories.
Not everything behind me that is gone now was my fault. I didn't want the Andy's and the Dave's and the Eric's and the Chris' and the Damon's and Wife and the Daughter and the possibilities to go away...most of the time they just did.
Sometimes it was my fault. Sometimes I treated the right person the wrong way...I said the wrong thing or drank the wrong drink or stole the wrong money at the wrong time.
But it really doesn't matter. They're all gone. Dust. I will never sit in that office and laugh ever again. I will never swing from that tire or kiss those lips or hold that child...ever again the way I once did.
I'm just so sad. Who are those people that keep everyone in their lives forever? How do they do it? Do they exist? Or are they simply what we see in the movies...fictional beings that have it all right all the time?
So many of you I just miss so much. Cult or no cult. I Wish You Were Here.
Sorry. Bad days for Sal.
-Sal
