Here's what's up with Reno

[fuckoff]

Let’s see…where to start. Two nights go I ended up in the Hospital from a black out.
I have been drinking and blacking out for about two weeks now (also doing Barbs). Each one worse then the last. I don’t remember the Ambulance ride. I came to when I was getting in my Hospital bed. The nurse with an attitude threw my scrubs at me. Well, after ripping the sink off the wall and throwing at him (missing but taking out a window) he brought back-up. Him and two other security officers, it got worse. I proceeded to punch one in the chest the other two tried to take me down. I put a death grip head lock on one and the other was calling for more back-up. The back up was one other security officer and a Police officer. The security officer attempted to put me in a death grip (UFC/ Ninja style) choke hold. I flipped him over and did a WWF style body slam. The Police officer pulled the mace out but another Nurse Sad “NO FUCKING MACE IN THE ER”! That Nurse asked me to be cool and I would have to be strapped down to the bed. I complied. For 4 hours I was in 4 point restraints.
I thank god they didn’t press charges. But I’m sure my insurance won’t cover the sink and the window. The funny thing is (which I don’t remember) is that I called 911 on myself.
The Mental Health Department asked me to attend a detox center and Out-Patient program.
I jerked them off and said the right things. Don’t get me wrong, I know I have a problem.
My Doctor put me on meds to help me out for the next few days.

Is this my incomprehensible demoralization?

I’m going through detox right now, a gallon of Vodka almost every night put’s the hurt on you. I just came back from an A.A. meeting and about 30% made sense. Why does A.A. have to be based on Christian bullshit? I feel like I’m going to church and the Big Book is the only bible for people like me. A book written over 60 years ago! I would much rater chew on glass then hear that crap. On top of all this, I have a lung infection a broking hand and feel like I just played full contact football.

Yes, I am attempting to get sober, I know I need to.

[-]

Wow... sounds like the shit hit the fan.

I don't have any advice to offer--just please know that I am your friend and support you 100%. No matter what. I hope things start to look up soon.

-g

[Kata6]

I'm sorry you're going through all that Reno. I wish I knew what to tell you but beleive it or not, I don't know shit about actual recovery. We're here for you.

[fuckoff]

Thanks, I know what to do and I'm doing it. I just wish I could find a fucking meeting that was cool.
The cold sweats, pins & needles and lack of sleep are much better now.

[webmistress]

Reno,
I am thinking about ya... sorry don't know what to say, other then I am here for ya.

Melanie

[IDBUG]

Wow Reno, it sounds like you're going through some hell. I'm glad to hear you're feeling a little better, and like everyone else said, we're here for you.

And I do hope you find a cool meeting too.

--Tanya

[mzdiagnosed]

Reno,
That's one hell of an experience, man. I know many people who didn't make it out of the program without the need for some help- me included.
I am not a counselor but I am glad to hear your taking some measures with all this. Both barb and alcohol detox need some medical supervision because like you said- they take a major toll/that shit puts a hurt on you.
There are also places that do "rational recovery" whose focus is not following a religious based recovery system. I found one a few years ago and it helped me a lot. Otherwise, I have many friends and some family members that really were/are helped by AA/NA once they exorcized the demons of being in a whack program.
Best- Mzd

[IDBUG]

Great post, MzD.

mzdiagnosed said:

There are also places that do "rational recovery" whose focus is not following a religious based recovery system. I found one a few years ago and it helped me a lot. Otherwise, I have many friends and some family members that really were/are helped by AA/NA once they exorcized the demons of being in a whack program.

Do any of these rational recovery places hold free meetings etc? Or are they more like counseling centers?

[mzdiagnosed]

Do any of these rational recovery places hold free meetings etc? Or are they more like counseling centers?[/quote]

I found a free meeting here in Cali. It really was soooo different than anything I had been to before. More like people just talking about where they were with drugs and alcohol and the things they did that helped them do the things they wanted to do in life. I think there was a moderator- a psychologist maybe? But his job was to keep things on track rather than pushing some agenda or shaking you upside down for change. I think it was actually called Rational Recovery.