Post by salparadise on Jun 25, 2006 4:10:19 GMT -5
10. Baby, Baby, Amy Grant
What a frolicy, pasty-white-candy-ass Canadian Jesus-humping horseshit bunch of snot.
9. The First Time, Surface
I seriously don't remember this song.
8. I Like The Way (The Kissing Game), Hi-Five
Seems kind of familiar, but I think this was the year that I really began tuning out of the mainstream.
7. More Than Words, Extreme
Ahem.
"More than words is all you have to do to make it real...then you wouldn't have to say that you love me...cuz I'd already know"
TRANSLATION:
Listen, bitch, shut-up, come over here, take off your clothes and have sex with me. Don't talk. Just hump. Yeah...you LIKE my acid wash jacket! SHUT UP. You LIKE how I stink of cigarettes! BE QUIET!
6. Unbelievable, EMF
Probably the MOST undeserving hit of ALL TIME.
5. One More Try, Timmy T
Another whif, here. Don't remember it.
4. Rush Rush, Paula Abdul
Me in 1991:
"Hey, dude. Do you remember when Paula Abdul used to get all naked and sing about my snake?"
My friend:
"Uhhhh"
Me: "She was so hot. What is this James Dean bullshit?"
My friend:
"Why are we watching this? Are you gay?"
Me:
"Look at her. She's like, all in a dress and shit. Why doesn't she do the cold snake thing again?"
My friend:
"I'm going home. You suck"
Me:
[singing] "girl-don't-be-the-fool"
3. Gonna Make You Sweat, C+C Music Factory
The funniest thing about this song was that anyone ever took it seriously enough for there to be a controversy behind it. Stupid.
2. I Wanna Sex You Up, Color Me Badd
Our first glimpse at pop groups spelling their names wrong in order to appeal to dumb people. See: Korn. Staind. Puddle of Mudd.
1. (Everything I Do) I Do It For You, Bryan Adams
Remember when more than no one liked Kevin Costner? This was the beginning of the end for him.
I don't think I have many more years left in me. I seriously gave up on Billboard not long after 1991. We'll see, later. But now I have got to go to sleep.
-Sal
What a frolicy, pasty-white-candy-ass Canadian Jesus-humping horseshit bunch of snot.
9. The First Time, Surface
I seriously don't remember this song.
8. I Like The Way (The Kissing Game), Hi-Five
Seems kind of familiar, but I think this was the year that I really began tuning out of the mainstream.
7. More Than Words, Extreme
Ahem.
"More than words is all you have to do to make it real...then you wouldn't have to say that you love me...cuz I'd already know"
TRANSLATION:
Listen, bitch, shut-up, come over here, take off your clothes and have sex with me. Don't talk. Just hump. Yeah...you LIKE my acid wash jacket! SHUT UP. You LIKE how I stink of cigarettes! BE QUIET!
6. Unbelievable, EMF
Probably the MOST undeserving hit of ALL TIME.
5. One More Try, Timmy T
Another whif, here. Don't remember it.
4. Rush Rush, Paula Abdul
Me in 1991:
"Hey, dude. Do you remember when Paula Abdul used to get all naked and sing about my snake?"
My friend:
"Uhhhh"
Me: "She was so hot. What is this James Dean bullshit?"
My friend:
"Why are we watching this? Are you gay?"
Me:
"Look at her. She's like, all in a dress and shit. Why doesn't she do the cold snake thing again?"
My friend:
"I'm going home. You suck"
Me:
[singing] "girl-don't-be-the-fool"
3. Gonna Make You Sweat, C+C Music Factory
The funniest thing about this song was that anyone ever took it seriously enough for there to be a controversy behind it. Stupid.
2. I Wanna Sex You Up, Color Me Badd
Our first glimpse at pop groups spelling their names wrong in order to appeal to dumb people. See: Korn. Staind. Puddle of Mudd.
1. (Everything I Do) I Do It For You, Bryan Adams
Remember when more than no one liked Kevin Costner? This was the beginning of the end for him.
I don't think I have many more years left in me. I seriously gave up on Billboard not long after 1991. We'll see, later. But now I have got to go to sleep.
-Sal
